turning, pilons, whislte drills and more

FINALLY!! it was practice time.....derby time......woohooo!!

Got to the arena and put my gear on.....stopped short of putting my skates on in the dressing room...was feeling a little unsure of trying to wobble and whimper my way to the arena floor.....sooo i carried them into the arena and put them on in there.....no shame, i repeat....no shame.

i got all laced up and took off rolling...doing a pretty good job of it too if i do pat myself on the back...got myself all warmed up, talked and joked with a few of my derby girls and had a nice stretch.....and more skating....then the whistle blew!!!!!!!!!

and so began the whistle drills.......friends of mine had dropped in to check things out and were in the bleachers watching through this torture......cough....i mean drill.....later on the said they were fairly certain it was illegal in most provinces......i concur......but feel the burn!! falling and getting up (yes on purpose i say!) stopping and starting...oh yeah feel the burn......like fire on the muscles.....who knew i had them?? lol

THEN the dreaded pilons......my nemisis.......damn them pilons.......but i will succeed....i will....i will......oops, maybe not tonight...annnnd Pixel Ninja points out that he totally knows i can turn...LOL off to the pilons of hell i go..feet were cramping baaad tonight, like stomach sick.....stomp the shite outta your feet cramping......so im off the side of the floor, stomping and retying my laces, and ok, i admit it, swearing a little too......when Dii Mented rolls on by, she says....you coming on Friday? i say yeah......she says ok! get some waxed laces by then......if it will get rid of the fucking cramping, its on like donkey kong.

I made it longer than the practice before, hard, sweaty, sick to my stomach, aching, awesome practice!! at one point i rolled over to get a drink and Pixel Ninja asked me what i was doing...i said just getting a drink...he said good, cause your not leaving.....lol

Pixel Ninja separated us...newbies into the kiddie pool and vertrans on to harder training that was wayyyy over this newbies' head......while practicing on our own, i watched some of what the big girls were doing..pretty inpressive stuff....i aspire to be where they are someday.....thats my goal

Derby girl down!!! during an excersie Kitty Von Doom was hurt! she handled it like a pro, no tears were shed ( although i think i would have been sobbing..the rest of the girls take a knee to wait to see if she is ok or if she will need to go to the hospital....and the abrupt turn from being hurt and panic ridden to the pouting and pissed off Kitty Von Doom when she realized that she was gonna be missing the rest of practice! very cute....turns out Kitty has broken her ankle....in two places.

Shortly after she is taken from the arena for medical care i get called into work.....but the time i get my gear off and am in the car i get a message saying they don't need me.......and then i get home, lay on the couch and i get another call to come in.....off i go galivanting to pick up my client along some god forsaken road ......Tada!!

i stop here......keep watching the skys boys and girls.......you know why!

Fecking Pilons

sooooo monday night practice....

still fighting with my damn laces....Dii Mented had a look at them friday night and said that they weren't as waxed as they should be, and that is prob why they aren't staying were i put them...gonna have to go pick up some more waxy ones......and need more tape

made it through the drop fall drill...tapping my knee like a happy little clam...boooyaaaaaaa!

and then we were on to the stop drill...well i have been practicing my t-stop...yes son, i can do it without reciting the lord's prayer...colour me happy....then we partnered up for some plow stops...turns out i keep pushing my feet to the outside, should be inside...and bend the knees lower...Crash N Turn worked with my partner and i for a bit, giving some good advice and reminding me to bend my frikken knees....whew what a work out!! and made a little easier with the good advice~!


.......Pilons......fecking pilons......pilons......fecking pilons......
i don't remember what i did in that past life...but if its any judge at the mental block i have on these fecking pilons..it must have been a doozy... fell only once...bully for me! although falling isn't so scary now...as i keep being reminded...i know how to do it (falling)...got up and kept going...only hitting about every second one...someday..someday i shall make it.....or i may just eat all the pilons and be done with it.....

so until next time...i shall be in the corner, eating paste, mumbling about pilons (spelled incorrectly) and rocking back and forth....bend yer fucking knees.....

slow on the uptake....

sooo its been a few practices and i have been silent on here.....yes i know its a shock...me silent :)

soo wendnesday night was a lions club night...and let me tell you i was rocking the knee taps...yeah son!! very proud of that! and my legs didn't actually tell me to fuck off till we started the zombie drags, lol...sweet jebus...torture!

I made it up the floor and back down again before i had to take my skates off and go into work..not too shabby...perhaps someday i'll be able to do more than two floor lengths without feeling the need to puke...we all have goals boys and girls...we all have goals


Friday night fight was at the church gym again.... THE FLOOR!! THE FLOOR!!!

worked my arse off, skated through the pain..kept to my feet all except for the water breaks....where i promptly layed out on the floor....no shame...no shame.....

Push pulls....interesting drill...especially on a floor made entirely of malasses....ASL N DIVA was my partner this night...we worked it out...this drill is where you are either pushing from behind, moving your partner around the floor, or you are pulling your partner behind you....fuck me! hard work!...although strangly enough...i kinda liked them :) i know i have to get my head checked! lol

then the fucking pilons came out (yes i know i spelled pylons wrong...sue me)
anywho...for some reason...and i think it may be because of something i did to piss off the Gods in another life...i can't seem to weave my way around the damn pilons....i mean i HAVE done it...more than once....but for some reason the skill alludes me......never mind the fact that try as i might i could get the maze pilons to make sense to me..i felt like i needed one of them chubby crayons to mark it out and maybe find the mouse at the end....but i muddled on through.....and managed not to take anyone out with me...score one for Sai Dystic!

Covered in sweat...kinda feeling a little proud of this old girl for making it through, i head off to work...on my way out the door...im told i did good that night......perma grin!!!!

Manic Mondayyyy OH A OH!!!

SOOOO, first practice back at our litte cubby hole:)

practice has been split up, the A's and the B's...nice to have the smaller groups but i miss all the girls!!

GROUP HUG!!!!
(just a reminder...i bite...but even i need lovins)

i gear up, have a skate around..then another, then another, my skate on the right foot is feeling angry....so i sit down, and try to retie it again...i comment off handedly to Coach Oh Captain My Captain..Pixel Ninja why i seem to never be able to tie my damn skates....he says that he has a theory....do tell i say.... the theory is that i have a vagina....he explains that he has noticed, through many hours of coaching, that the ones that seem to have a hard time with this tying of skates have vaginas...now i stop here, he says its a theory, not a belief...i say his thinking and logic are sound...who am i to argue..from there we went on to the fact that my laces are wayyy too long and my arms wayyy too short to gracefully wrap them and tie them....Pixel said he knew how to fix the problem...of course with rapt attention i wait for the holy grail answer...cause im an educated woman....i figure if there was a solution surely i would have come up with it on my own....yeah, cut them was the answer....fucking hell im slow...guess i really do get by on my good looks...jesus i can't believe that, LMFAO!!! yeah starting to buy into the whole vagina theory... we also had a discussion as to why im over on the step tying my skate rather than sitting on the floor, i explain that my shape is round... apmply round and need the better angle so that i don't roll onto my back or cut off my air trying to tie my skate....since i have enough issues with tying as it is...i don't think he was buyin it...but seriously, im like a fucking weeble wobble.......

now we are doing whistle falls.....my fucking favorite, i say that and im serious....i love sliding!! EEEEEE!!!!!!(high pitched eeeee!!)
but im trying to do it so that im not going all the way down and not sliding to a complete stop, just taping my knee on the floor and then rising to my feet again....in theory (we were chock full of theories last night)
for some reason my legs are telling me to fuck the hell off and im having a hard time getting up, let alone just tapping my knee on the floor...i fell a couple times, but no fear, my weeble wobble arse saved me!
AND THEN I FUCKING DID IT!! Twice to be exact, i tapped my knee and stayed on my feet! yeah SON! fuck yeah i did it!!! only twice but i'll take that for a start!
..and then i had to sit down for a minute or two...can't remember why right now...but im thinking it had something to do with the fact that i have no endurance and was a hurting unit and i cant tie my fucking skates correctly....i sat for a few minutes and watched the other ladies, who i have to say were are all doing awesome!! ...side note...pain makes you laugh! lmao
i got up to skate again, and then the whistle blew, water break.....but not for me, Pixel Ninja, said umm yeah you can keep doing the whistle falls since you took a little break and watched the other girls work...who am i to argue....so off i went, i did them till he said stop...i have to say this here. i need the coach and the other girls to push me sometimes...i mean its far too easy to go easy on yourself...i have never taken it the wrong way, its part of being a team...and makes me feel as though i really am part of it all..if i wasnt i dont think anyone would waste thier breath or time on me, i certainly wouldn't if roles were reversed....and i need the push sometimes...seriously do...its hard work, i will get there with the big girls, won't be anytime soon, but i WILL do it ( i wonder what the cut off age for derby girls is???) LOL ...but when i think i can't go another effing minute, ready to puke...i get that look shot at me and "another time around" shouted out and i find i can push myself further...jesus listen to me gush...

got a coupla nice taps on the arse too! lol good night indeedy!! thanks lady isa Hella!!




ANYWAYSSS we did some stops...felt the burn....swore, told Pixel Ninja to fuck off a few times... and tought the other girls a few naughty signs along with ASL N Diva (tee hee hee)...Pixel Ninja made up a few of his own...and it was time for me to pack it in, had a meeting for work...looks like i may have left just in time....zombie drag was starting as i was leaving....yeah gonna pay for that one later....

now excuse me whilst i go cut my fucking laces.......

new practice space

soooo back to practice tonight, we are trying out a new practice space....a very nice church group is letting us use thier gym. yehawwww...bigger space once a week while the arenas are covered in ice....

we get there, and T was already skating, she said it seemed sticky, hard to move....im thinking can't be bad, we are on wheels... never will i doubt her again....it was like skating through 4 inches of molassess....interesting....and painful....definatly wasn't a skills practice but was most definatly a muscle work out...yet again Sai Dystic finds muscles that she didn't know she had.....my arse is sore....wait, check that...everything is sore.....LOL

It was a good practice and definatly felt the burn...still feeling the burn...nasty shin splints this night....fucking sucked....but im told pain is the cleanser....so lets cleanse the fuck outta me.........

until next time.......bend yer fucking knees

........sweet jebus

soooo i have been doing lunges and knee bends through out the day to build strenght....deal i made myself cause yes i have to bribe myself..i would do these after each time i went out for a smoke...healthy no??

fuck me.....all i can say is im gonna have to quit smoking........

FOOODDD!!

ok, so i have noticed that im wayyy more hungry than i used to be since starting derby....currently have the shakes cause i didn't have a chance to eat dinner....athelites need fuel.......giggle giggle...im an athelite!! my coach says so!! no excuse me whilst i go naw on something

friday night last arena practice for the season

its the last arena practice for the winter months, since the ice is going in soon, so off i go.....i get to practice and start to take my shite out of my gear bag....and i have no gd helmet.......yep, no fucking helmet.

so this practice im going to have to sit out....but thats ok, i watch the girls skate.....watch them do their drills, day dreaming about the time when i will be good enough to join them....i will make it there someday.. not anytime soon, but someday. My confidence has been shaken, but im back bitches....LOL I don't think anyone is more surprised than me that i have made it this far or have come this far myself skill wise.....fuck yeah! can't get any worse, can only go up from here boys and girls.....

i also met alise t kills mum, had a nice little chat with her before i left for work, that woman is a sweet heart! and very proud of her daughter!

soooo great work girls!! you guys are rockstars!! AND of course next time i shall make sure i have my fucking helmet.......bend yer fucking knees!!

....deep breath now

soooo the last time i was at practice, Pixel Ninja mentioned that the arena practices were almost finished, and sooo...he was going to expect me to wear my skates from the dressing room onto the arena floor.....i mean i had done it before, but for some reason the thought of doing this scared the beejesus out of me....well fuck me thats something to think about until the next practice.....

so here i am gearing up in the dressing room.....and i put my skates on..my stomache is turning and im sweating already, and i haven't even moved off the bench yet....and alise t kill is already out on the floor.......well shite....

so i take a deep breath and put my big girl panties on and get my ass moving....slowly...with whimpers escaping my mouth......but i get going....making my way to the arena floor....now i have made it to the entrance...and theres a ramp in the way....and since i pretty sure i don't wanna screw with fate, im not gonna roll on down the ramp.

to i tip my skates up and start walking on my toe stops..first time i have done this....and it works, look at me!!! I FUCKING DID IT!!

i roll on over to where everyone is already gathered stretching...and yes i did get a couple cheers! yayyy me!! go Sai Dystic!!....I rolled on by Pixel Ninja and as he turned his evil grin towards me, i say and i quote ' I FUCKING DID IT!'

lol i made it...whew! starting the night on a really good foot! i skated around a bit, had a stretch and remembered to bend my knees...there was some excerses that i was still not healed enough (fucking knee) but i skated and skated....moving faster yet than i had before! go me!! wind in my hair....rollin and rollin!

i made sure to be careful how much time i was spending off the side stretching my legs out, wanting to make sure i skated for as much time as possible, you see...my legs are finished far before the rest of my body needs to rest at this point... my left shin and legs cramp like a son of a bitch so i find myself having to stop every couple turns around the floor to stretch my legs out so that they will hold me up a little longer...frustrating but hey, all apart of the conditioning....im using muscles that i am pretty sure didn't exist...theres gonna be some pain, and like i have been told, if it doesn't hurt, then your probably doing it wrong.........

time for me to go now, off to work..........so bend yer fucking knees

and she's back.......

Ok, so its been a little while since i last wrote.......my knee was more fucked than i thought and eneded up having to take about a week off from derby. I went back last friday...wow it, i certainly noticed the difference from missing a week.....knee wasnt 100 percent yet, there was somethings that i wasn't able to do, like the drop falls but i worked around it....slowly.....

when my knee was screaming at me and my head was pounding i called it quits, while talking to Pixel Ninja i mentioned that my head was pounding, it had come on suddenly, and was fucking nasty. He asked if i was drinking enough water and yes i certainly was, so he suggested gatorade...g2 to be exact. So i left practice and on my way to work, i stopped and bought some, as well as advil, just in case........i started drinking it even before i paid for it, lol and what do you know.....g2 saved my life, by the time i got to work, my headache was gone...and so was the g2. I am now a believer!!!

Soooo, now we bring ourselves to Monday night practice, this is the last week for arena practices....sad but true....and so ends the kiddie pool...scared you ask??? terrified......fucking terrified, but up for it! posted on the wall was the list, they are splitting us into two groups, group a and group b...i checked the list, i mean, i fully knew which group i would have been put in, let be real but i checked it anyway....group b baby!! and we start earlier, so yayyy! this is gonna work out just fine for me, with working nights, and the coaches will get a good shot at killing me :)

Last week, i had been talking to Dii Mented, she was saying how i have to work at not being so scared to move faster than a confused turtle...my words, not her's....so tonight, i gave it a go...now...let me stop here and say, my perception of how fast i was moving was probably differnt from any onlookers, but i swear, i was doing about 66 miles per hour.....seriously, actually felt my hair blow in the wind!! and have to say i kinda liked it!

i have also noticed that no longer do i take a couple strides, to get myself going...then coast to a stop cause i get scared, i can actually keep a steady pace.......fuck me im proud! i actually skate! like constant perpetual motion skate....weeee!!!!!!!!!!!

i know im kinda jumping around her, but im on my 3rd coffee....dare me to drive? so try to be patient...lol

ok, so im skating, and gliding and turning, yes, still can turn like a champ, but muscles in legs are screaming and cursing me......fucking hell that shite hurts...im told your doing it right if its hurting......well give this girl a gold fucking star, cause it hurts! lol.......feeling pissed cause my knee is taking about 10 years to feel better, and so the drop falls are still out of the question...so i skate while they fall...look ma!! human pilons!! and i didn't even hit anyone! score one for sai dystic!!

.........now comes the time where we are going to do the zombie drag....i have never done this, tonight is the first time. you slide your front foot ahead of you and then drag you foot that is behind you up to meet the front one....sounds fun eh? sweet mother of gawd...hurt, hurt?? i'd take a real zombie over zombie drags any day!! lol

i made it through without falling....which was a real concern since my legs were noodles....and then we were told to duck walk..yep its exactly what you are picturing.......now my whole body is vibrating.....my legs are jimming all over the place...i made it to the blue line.....barely.....that right there boys and girls is a whole new kinda hurt...between that and the zombie drag......but i did it....and then my legs just werent going to hold me up any more, my knee was angry too.....i bailed at that point.....shameful i know.....but in my defence i also had a daughter that needed her fro tamed for the start of school the next day.....kind of frustrating that my legs are finished far sooner than the rest of me....

** side note.....i will be back..(said in terminator voice)...slow going.......painful....sweaty and........i love it......don't know where this journey is going to take me....it may be years before i get to skate with the big girls, but i will someday....or die trying...which seriously, after the zombie drags, yeah that might be a real possiblity.....and i have been informed that next practice im going to be expected to wear my skates from the dressing room onto the arena floor.....pray for me....and Alise T Kill??? bring that first aid kit! :)